The Thanksgiving holiday was pleasant, very relaxing and the boys played very well togther. To my surprise, I had to do very little re-directing. Israel had his whiney moments, but I am trying to expand my level of tollerance, and caffeinated him less than if he were at school. There were times when the boys were laughing together during play, and as good as that feels for neurotypical kid parents, it feels exceptionally great for me. Israel can understand when someone is speaking figuratively and "gets" jokes, but Zach doesn't have that ability. For Zach, everything is black and white, literal. So he has trained himself to force a laugh when others are laughing. It looks very strange, because his face is forced into a smile, but for some reason his eyebrows are usually scowling, and there is a strange forced laugh. It is his way of fitting in, and makes it slightly less obvious that he isn't on the same page as others. It gives me a little glimmer of hope that he can be convincing one day, and that most of those social skills can be learned, but mostly, that he wants to make the effort to share and be a part of others' conversations.
Zach will be turning six in just three months, and seems to be growing so fast. My favorite recent development is his relationship with Garrett(my husband). When Zach was born, Israel was just 1 1/2 years, and it just happened that Garrett usually dealt with Israel's needs while I handled Zach. That meant that Zach got most of my attention, and Israel got Garrett's attention. It wasn't planned, it just sort of took on a life of its own. Even to this day, Zach still comes to me with problems, and Israel leans toward Garrett. Zach has been so attached to me that he has said really hurtful things to Garrett like, "I don't like you, I only love Mommy." and even tells him to go away. It has really bothered me and I am sure to let Zach know that he is not allowed to talk to ANYONE that way, but especially not his daddy, who loves him very much. It has only been in the last couple of weeks that Zach has begun "warming up" to Garrett. Whenever he does something good, I tell him to show/tell 'Daddy' and Garrett has always made an extra effort to make a fuss over Zach's work. In the past couple weeks, Zach has progressed to leading Garrett by the hand to show him things, and even snuggling on the couch next to Garrett. Usually when Garrett is on the couch, Zach sees that as the perfect opportunity to jump as hard as he can on top of him. Even though he's a body builder, he is human, and a 50-something pound kid jumping at full force, is not good for anyone's body. I don't know why he does that to Garrett, he has never done that to me, but I don't allow it because it hurts. Garrett is the one who always plays with the boys, makes them giggle and squeal, I just don't know why Zach feels the need to jump on him, and then, even if he lays nicely on Garrett, he still ends up grinding his head into Garrett's. Time and again we ask him if he needs to be squished, but he says no and keeps pressing their skulls together. It is the strangest thing. So, yesterday when we were all hanging out in the living room, Zach knew I had a sore knee, so he chose to go snuggle by Garrett and even though it only lasted a few minutes, it was really great to see. And later when Iwas in another room, Zach had wanted to tell me something but realized I wasn't in the room. Instead of seeking me out to tell me, he told Garrett. I realize the progress is small, but to me, significant. And every bit of progress that my kids make, gives me hope that their future can and will be so bright!
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